Christmas and the Contrite Hearts.

So the season is here again...best wishes, church crusades, last-minute shopping, family reunions, lots of food, drinks, travelling, a long list of those. But most importantly, New Year Resolutions. So what's it about the season and the sudden development of contrite hearts in the chests of most men? I think I might have a little idea why. Let's take me for instance, I can feel mine beating irregularly right now- my heart, down flat in contrition. It's as if I fell asleep in January and when i woke up, voila! December. Time...precious time - moves terribly fast. I remember reading a poem in one of  my final exams this semester- last Thursday, talking about time. I just sat there and read the poem over and over again, almost forgetting I was in an exam hall and time; same old time, was running out. It hit me so hard -  the chunk of it I had wasted...it hit me hard.
But hey, I'm not here to talk about me, oh no, no, not at all. That is my private affair! I'm just here to talk, in general about everything that might concern all of us- might concern you, personally if you take time to think of it. Okay, so I will confront a few major shortfalls we might have all encountered throughout the year and we'll see where that goes.

First on the list is Fear. Yep, that dirty old monster! Now who hasn't been a coward before?? Raise your hands please...well congratulations, you with you hands up! You have never been held back by fear ever in your life, that is awesome!!! Well, some of us suffer withdrawal symptoms when fear is not around. We have spent years and years in fear, we miss it when it goes on holidays. Is that feeling familiar? You might not outright admit it but with careful reflection it might dawn on you, yeah! it sure had been holding you back from taking some giant 'leap of faith' sometime throughout the year. People, lets admit it, fear sucks! It taunts you, threatens you, laughs in your face. We have got to teach it a lesson, don't you think? Now it is scattered all over in the Bible, I don't know exactly how many times but I last heard it was 365 times (I hope I'm right cos I don't want to add any extras to the Bible) that we should not, must not, never even attempt, to fear! DO NOT FEAR! Alright preaching over! Let's just make silent resolutions to kick fear out once and for all before the new year arrives, so help us God.

Second is that other guy called Procrastination. Have you ever had a personal, very intense hatred for an alarm clock before? Hmm! Or maybe your phone? You set the alarm, time catches, it goes off, you hit snooze, minutes later it goes off, you hit snooze again, and then the battle continues for a while until time slowly inches away into nothing! You take your own sweet time to wake up and then start rushing around, trying to squeeze just too much into some poor little time left..and then when time complains, you pull at your hair. Why then do you even set the alarm? It's our nature to drag our feet around, hesitant to do what we know we have got to do, until the 11th hour, then rush, rush ,rush!!! It is evident every semester in our reading rooms, department libraries and the almighty Balme. Oh, let me not forget the newly added 24, where most pillows are now seriously intimate with. I am very much as guilty as you all. Damn! That popular quote about procrastination being something with, or of, or to time...sh*t! I can't remember. Anyway, no need to sound 'wise' right now so all I can say is. 'Tomorrow never comes' (at least I got that right) So yeah, procrastination is next in line to the slaughterhouse.

Now who can say he/she is not a 'rational' human being? Definitely we all are. But is it always a good thing? I woke up one morning and there and then decided not to take my bath. No one asked me anything, no one scolded me, but I had a serious fight with some voice in my head, and of course I won. Don't we always win against that voice? I came up with amazing reasons to defend my decision. Rationalization. I fought so hard to justify why I needed not to take my bath that morning.  I had taken my bath late the previous night, it was a Saturday and I wasn't planning on going out., and on and on. Why, that's no big deal, not taking my bath one Saturday morning. But we don't leave the rationalization there, over the little things. We carry it with us everywhere. So you have already justified why you should stay late out with your friends (its just a harmless girls night out), and you justify why those boys can come along (oh, they are just our friends and besides it will be fun), oh and alcohol is being served but that's okay (cos it's just 5% vol.) jeez, my head is beginning to feel light I must stop after this last one (ah, but can I get more drunk than I already am?) and look at this cute guy in my face looking like he wants to kiss me (go for it and blame it on the alcohol!). Now relate this to other scenarios you can think of...having sex with some random guy, getting rid of that 'unwanted' pregnancy, cheating on a test...its been 11 months and a couple of weeks, the year is almost done, the big clock is ticking, have you done some major justifications yourself? I know I did, but as I said, not talking about me. We know what's right from what's wrong, maybe we should just channel all our energetic rationalizations and justifications towards what's right. So go ahead and add that to the list...Positive rational behavior - Check!

I don't want to say too much, cos people hate to read too much but I just want to end with something that has been on my mind these few days. We are a bunch of filthy wrong-doers, oh yes we are. At least I know I am. We look up to the peak of the mountain, bursting with energy, adrenaline pumping at the start of the year and we head out, spirits high, up the mountain and bam! we fall...we wallow there for a while, get nudged up, and we start over, we fall, and we fall and we fall again. God knows how many times I have been there. And we tend to get tired of falling, cos we suffer bruises each time we fall so we are tempted to stay on the ground the next time we fall cos we feel we are better off down there, that son-of-a-***** called fear comes in at this point, fear of falling again. No matter how big your injury after your last fall, I think you should get up and start again. Look, the fact that we try again and fall yet again does not mean we should stop trying. Hell no! I think it only means we must change our strategies, train harder for the race, lick up more glucose powder as we run up, it is terribly steep, who says its not? But look around you, you are not alone on the track.

Christmas for us Christians is a perfect time to reflect, not only because it's the end of the year, but because it's a holy time full of blessings and miracles...to all you men with your chests heavy with contrite hearts, you better shed some tears of joy like I'm doing behind this virus-infested laptop of mine right now, because you just got your share of blessings. The Lord has fueled our hearts with contrition and we have got to make good use of it. Don't wait for another year, fuel prices might shoot up!

I got to go before I get dehydrated from too much crying, lol.

Merry, merry Christmas!!! And lots of best-wishes to all those contrite hearts. Mwuaaaaaah!!!