Monday 27 February 2012

BROKEN

I think of the trouble you put me through
And all the pain that leaves me blue
I think of the time I waste to grieve
And all the love you failed to give

I think of her; she stood aloof
She was too scared to tell the truth
I think of me in that dark, stinky room
Cold wind sweeping concrete floor like a broom

The rage in your eyes; who were you mad at?
Yourself, your destiny or this damned earth?
Do I help ease your pain when you see me cry
After I drag myself out from the dark corners of that sty?

The nightmares wake us up...
Yours not too  different from mine
We both rest on the devil's lap
We survive on bloody grime

It didn't have to be this way
Why didn't you let yourself stay sane?
No, you let them get to you...
And now I have gone crazy too

They sent you here, those ones, didn't they?
You spat on my sunlight and made it less gay
You uprooted them all...roses, blue bells
Violets, lavender, their comforting smells

You stripped me down to tears
Crimson tears laden with hell-inspired fears
And you danced around my fate
Making fun of my heart, laid in state

You took them all...all the sweetness, all the spice
You took them all...all the laughter, all the smiles
And now I have your eyes, filled with that rage
Like a wild animal, I should be caged

For I have this urge to strangle you
Slowly to death, yes that would do
Or I'd just damage a nerve or two
For all the trouble you put me through

SCARS




I must be brave
When tomorrow comes
Those long gone
Were in my place once
I cannot doubt
I will not run
I must not cry
When tomorrow comes
Three moons ago,
I was on the other side
I watched...
Proud blossoming buds stood in line
Tears of joy were mingled with silent fears
"Customs do not die"
Say the ORACLES and SEERS
I must not tremble when tomorrow comes
This mirror resting between my thighs
Will no longer tell me
This blissful lie
Then, I'll be a woman...
I'll sit with the others
And their scars
I must be prepared when tomorrow comes
Mother, did you ever hide 
In your rooms and dream?
Dreading...
Those sharp dark blades...
Old wrinkled hands
Did you ever think of the loss?
Did you think of the pain?
Oh I must forget this nightmare
When tomorrow comes
When the cock crows,
I'll be first in line
I will adorn my waist
With the heaviest of beads
Rub scented Shea butter down 
Beyond my knees
I'll hold my head high
And as i lay down, legs apart
My heart will be full of joy
And my eyes, dry
I'd bless those old wrinkled hands

But for now just let me...
Let me look in this mirror one last time
Let me gaze at this beauty I see

When tomorrow comes, 
It will be another scar
My beauty will be nothing
Nothing
But a scar.


Thursday 23 February 2012

MY DAY-LONG LOVE




This blessed dew-filled morning
Butterflies stopped to watch my heart step-dancing


Deep breaths filled my eager lungs
As my mind flew up to higher ranks

It's cause you rose with the sun...
And you shone so hot and bright
I felt no need to go out and run


...Not till sunset came in sight

The day is ending, tell me what now?
When it's done, where do we go?
My sweat feels heavy on my brow
I find myself wanting to scream out; 'NO!'

Will l run home and look through the peep hole?
Look through, into your tear-filled eyes?
Boring into...reading the letters of my soul?


Will i break down and cry again? 

Knowing....
We're both sad...sad to watch as our day dies...?

Thursday 16 February 2012

HE HAS ME


Once upon a time, I stood before my one true love
And spat in his face
That heart-breaking cliche
..."It's over between us"...
Yet in that moment, he loved me.

Many turns back when I packed up my bags
And moved out of that Mansion he gave me
Acting out in ways worse than words
Saying..."I met someone else"...
All through it, he loved me.

Tracing back tears long past
Tears he shed when on that bed
He once laid in...deep in my heart
He found another, with a face too familiar...
In all that pain, he loved me.

With the knowledge that there was another
Once his right-hand man, now a traitor
With hot burning coals now in the picture
And I, openly playing with fire
He wrung his hands in agony, yes he loved me.

...

Once upon a time, lust drew me away
Images of pleasure caused my heart to sway
Was almost real, watching from a distance
An almost pleasant lie...a mirage, in fact
Yet one thing among all stood true; he loved me

But then a spot in my soul could still remember
The rhythm our hearts composed back when they beat together
He knows my heart inside, out and under
Each drop of blood that runs red through my veins
In this life he gave me, his love solely reigns.

So in this moment I say never again
Leaving him only caused me too much pain
I can breathe while he's in his rightful place
Here in my heart, safely seated on his golden throne
I'd shout with joy that He has me...
He has me and my entire soul

Saturday 4 February 2012

VENTING!!!


I'm not here to produce poetry
It's time for random venting

Like brown paper bag threatening to burst with heat
I need to slide open the bag and let out the steam

Like microwaved extra butter and caramel popcorn
I need to let the steam carry the tempting smell that's born

Away from me...miles away into heaven
Into the nostrils of someone more deserving

Who will get up and pursue that which I let out
And when he finds it...will dip his hands and scout

Into caramel-glazed popcorn and have a fill...

Of my microwaved sweetness
While I stand back and be the witness

So this probably makes no sense at all
Doesn't have to, it's the law

Of venting...it has to be crap
I need to let out before i snap!

Tonight I'm not in the mood
To sit behind my loom

And weave jumbled-up words...
All throughout, hoping it takes away my hurt

I'm in the mood to vent
......and this is how far I went