MEA CULPA

Settling down 

Long enough 

To note 

My fear

Paying close attention, 

I hear

Dark voices 

Snicker in my head,

Knowing 

I will soon snap

And murder them

In cold blood

Their shrieks echo

A forewarning...

"Many more voices to be born."

A chant I get high on.

O this darkness...

Mea Culpa!

In the cradle 

Lies pain

Wrapped up 

Delicately

Comfortable in its sleep

I dread its waking

Yet I nurse it

Rocking

That daunting cradle

Back 

And forth

It creaks loudly

Taunting me;

"I wouldn't be sleeping for long.

Conscious 

Of my unconscious 

Anticipation

Of its waking

O this sweet agony...

Mea Culpa!

Before this canvas

I stand

Painting

A self portrait

Hours of brush-dipping

Colour dripping

Strokes 

And 

Strokes

And it's done

A canvas

Painted

Dark

Red

Its boldness mirroring me

"This is you, inside-out"

O this torturous vision...

Mea  Maxima Culpa!

Note: Mea culpa is a Latin phrase that translates into English as "through my fault". It is repeated three times in the prayer of confession at the Catholic Mass: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa — "through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault".