Friday, 18 October 2013

MEA CULPA




Settling down 
Long enough 
To note 
My fear
Paying close attention, 
I hear
Dark voices 
Snicker in my head,
Knowing 
I will soon snap
And murder them
In cold blood

Their shrieks echo
A forewarning...

"Many more voices to be born."

A chant I get high on.

O this darkness...

Mea Culpa!


In the cradle 
Lies pain
Wrapped up 
Delicately
Comfortable in its sleep
I dread its waking
Yet I nurse it
Rocking
That daunting cradle
Back 
And forth

It creaks loudly
Taunting me;

"I wouldn't be sleeping for long.

Conscious 
Of my unconscious 
Anticipation
Of its waking

O this sweet agony...

Mea Culpa!


Before this canvas
I stand
Painting
A self portrait
Hours of brush-dipping
Colour dripping
Strokes 
And 
Strokes
And it's done
A canvas
Painted
Dark
Red

Its boldness mirroring me

"This is you, inside-out"


O this torturous vision...

Mea  Maxima Culpa!





Note: Mea culpa is a Latin phrase that translates into English as "through my fault". It is repeated three times in the prayer of confession at the Catholic Mass: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa — "through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault".