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Let’s not go down this lane
For when we start this journey
And gaze upon each other’s nakedness
We are two innocent souls on the edge
Conflicting thoughts flooding our heads
Thoughts of eternity…fading away into night
As fabric gives way to flesh
Hands caress bodies…lips find lips
Our consciences scream out…our hearts skip
We know…the next step ends in doom
Yet heated passion leaves no room
For sane decisions
When we, first two
Become a corrupt one
The demons in hell beat hard on their drums
The darkness engulfs us as we move
Together…dancing to that evil rhythm
Our breaths unite in a death-chant
Suffocating the light in our hearts
Lucifer lifts his three-pronged fork
And hurls it into our merged bodies
As we shudder and scream out the cry of
defeat
Then…
We reach the core
When we go down
This enticing lane…
We trade our innocence
We trade our light
Just so we can have a bite
Of that red…juicy…poisoned…ancient apple
Just a piece, my dear…
Just a piece, of that old, old lie.
hmmm...interesting. great use of metaphors.
ReplyDeleteThank you, my dear.
ReplyDeleteconsuming,excellent use of metaphors. a very good piece. well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by. I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteinteresting...
ReplyDeleteThanks dear
Deletethe revision you`ve done is good but i think the original poem is better because it appears to flow "from emotions collected in tranquility"-it looks more natural than its new self.
ReplyDeleteWell now i'm curious. How come you know there was an original to this? But then you know, I always get itchy with my works so I play with them as time goes on. I appreciate your observation, although I'm afraid this is now the new original. Maybe I should stop messing with my pieces...lol.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNot necessarily 'playing' with it in literal terms but you know, going back to them from time to time. Now you've made me regret re-visiting this one. Too late now. Sorry I spoiled it for you.
ReplyDeletei am sorry to have overstepped my boundaries and spoilt your day.i misconstrued the meaning of your words and i must confess that i didn't take time to consider the effects of my reprehensible comment.please feel free to delete it if you want to.
ReplyDeleteOK, i just got the comment deleted.this way,it will no longer worry you,i hope.
ReplyDeleteOh no, don't worry about it. I only meant you made me regret making the changes. Don't beat yourself up over it,please. ;-)
ReplyDeleteit´s good to see the dust settle at last. i hope life´s treating you well wherever you are.anyway,thanks!
ReplyDeleteGod is good to me in every way, so life`is surely good. Thank you too.
ReplyDeletemay i know what motivated you to write this piece?
ReplyDeleteSome mistakes along the line, I'd say.
ReplyDelete