BROKEN

I think of the trouble you put me through

And all the pain that leaves me blue

I think of the time I waste to grieve

And all the love you failed to give

I think of her; she stood aloof

She was too scared to tell the truth

I think of me in that dark, stinky room

Cold wind sweeping concrete floor like a broom

The rage in your eyes; who were you mad at?

Yourself, your destiny or this damned earth?

Do I help ease your pain when you see me cry

After I drag myself out from the dark corners of that sty?

The nightmares wake us up...

Yours not too  different from mine

We both rest on the devil's lap

We survive on bloody grime

It didn't have to be this way

Why didn't you let yourself stay sane?

No, you let them get to you...

And now I have gone crazy too

They sent you here, those ones, didn't they?

You spat on my sunlight and made it less gay

You uprooted them all...roses, blue bells

Violets, lavender, their comforting smells

You stripped me down to tears

Crimson tears laden with hell-inspired fears

And you danced around my fate

Making fun of my heart, laid in state

You took them all...all the sweetness, all the spice

You took them all...all the laughter, all the smiles

And now I have your eyes, filled with that rage

Like a wild animal, I should be caged

For I have this urge to strangle you

Slowly to death, yes that would do

Or I'd just damage a nerve or two

For all the trouble you put me through

SCARS

I must be brave

When tomorrow comes

Those long gone

Were in my place once

I cannot doubt

I will not run

I must not cry

When tomorrow comes

Three moons ago,

I was on the other side

I watched...

Proud blossoming buds stood in line

Tears of joy were mingled with silent fears

"Customs do not die"

Say the ORACLES and SEERS

I must not tremble when tomorrow comes

This mirror resting between my thighs

Will no longer tell me

This blissful lie

Then, I'll be a woman...

I'll sit with the others

And their scars

I must be prepared when tomorrow comes

Mother, did you ever hide 

In your rooms and dream?

Dreading...

Those sharp dark blades...

Old wrinkled hands

Did you ever think of the loss?

Did you think of the pain?

Oh I must forget this nightmare

When tomorrow comes

When the cock crows,

I'll be first in line

I will adorn my waist

With the heaviest of beads

Rub scented Shea butter down 

Beyond my knees

I'll hold my head high

And as i lay down, legs apart

My heart will be full of joy

And my eyes, dry

I'd bless those old wrinkled hands

But for now just let me...

Let me look in this mirror one last time

Let me gaze at this beauty I see

When tomorrow comes, 

It will be another scar

My beauty will be nothing

Nothing

But a scar.

MY DAY-LONG LOVE

This blessed dew-filled morning

Butterflies stopped to watch my heart step-dancing

Deep breaths filled my eager lungs

As my mind flew up to higher ranks

It's cause you rose with the sun...

And you shone so hot and bright

I felt no need to go out and run

...Not till sunset came in sight

The day is ending, tell me what now?

When it's done, where do we go?

My sweat feels heavy on my brow

I find myself wanting to scream out; 'NO!'

Will l run home and look through the peep hole?

Look through, into your tear-filled eyes?

Boring into...reading the letters of my soul?

Will i break down and cry again? 

Knowing....

We're both sad...sad to watch as our day dies...?

HE HAS ME

Once upon a time, I stood before my one true love

And spat in his face

That heart-breaking cliche

..."It's over between us"...

Yet in that moment, he loved me.

Many turns back when I packed up my bags

And moved out of that Mansion he gave me

Acting out in ways worse than words

Saying..."I met someone else"...

All through it, he loved me.

Tracing back tears long past

Tears he shed when on that bed

He once laid in...deep in my heart

He found another, with a face too familiar...

In all that pain, he loved me.

With the knowledge that there was another

Once his right-hand man, now a traitor

With hot burning coals now in the picture

And I, openly playing with fire

He wrung his hands in agony, yes he loved me.

...

Once upon a time, lust drew me away

Images of pleasure caused my heart to sway

Was almost real, watching from a distance

An almost pleasant lie...a mirage, in fact

Yet one thing among all stood true; he loved me

But then a spot in my soul could still remember

The rhythm our hearts composed back when they beat together

He knows my heart inside, out and under

Each drop of blood that runs red through my veins

In this life he gave me, his love solely reigns.

So in this moment I say never again

Leaving him only caused me too much pain

I can breathe while he's in his rightful place

Here in my heart, safely seated on his golden throne

I'd shout with joy that He has me...

He has me and my entire soul

VENTING!!!

I'm not here to produce poetry

It's time for random venting

Like brown paper bag threatening to burst with heat

I need to slide open the bag and let out the steam

Like microwaved extra butter and caramel popcorn

I need to let the steam carry the tempting smell that's born

Away from me...miles away into heaven

Into the nostrils of someone more deserving

Who will get up and pursue that which I let out

And when he finds it...will dip his hands and scout

Into caramel-glazed popcorn and have a fill...

Of my microwaved sweetness

While I stand back and be the witness

So this probably makes no sense at all

Doesn't have to, it's the law

Of venting...it has to be crap

I need to let out before i snap!

Tonight I'm not in the mood

To sit behind my loom

And weave jumbled-up words...

All throughout, hoping it takes away my hurt

I'm in the mood to vent

......and this is how far I went